It is so easy to get caught up in our busy lives that we often neglect the smaller things that often add up to being very big things. One of the things we neglect the most are unfortunately our relationship with others. We often do not take the time to sit and “catch up” with people and update our knowledge about what the may be dealing with on a regular basis. It may be that we neglect to share what we really appreciate about that person or that we often think of them. Sometimes, we forget to respond to others when they reach out to us in some way. This may take many forms such as: a phone call not returned, an invitation that we turn down, or a distracted response. This neglect can happen in relationships with friends, families and even our partner.
The above mentioned things all play an important role in what is called the “friendship” base of our relationship with others. Even though all relationships are important, I want to focus on the relationship we have with our partner. Dr. John Gottman spent endless hours observing and interviewing couples to find out what successful couples were doing consistently in their relationship. His research showed that what separates the “masters” from the “disasters” is that they make time to nurture the friendship base of their relationship. This friendship base gives relationships a solid foundation and allows us to have a more positive perspective of our partner overall. When we are able to maintain a more positive perspective with our partner we are able to move through life’s challenges with more ease.
The hard thing about maintaining this friendship base is making sure that we make it a priority. We can not get in the habit of “getting around to” our relationship. This type of attitude will lead to you being disconnected with your partner and having a negative point of reference about your relationship. You will find it more difficult to move through challenges and often find you are “stuck” when trying to reach a compromise. Taking steps to nurture your friendship is one way of preventing this situation from occurring.
My “challenges” are a great way to get in the habit of making the time necessary to maintain that friendship base of your relationship. One of the topics of your newsletter will begin to build a knowledge base of how to nurture the friendship base of your relationship. The corresponding challenge for the week will give you an activity to increase your friendship and get you in the habit of making time for your relationship on a regular basis. I challenge you to not put your relationship on the “back burner” and keep the friendship base of your relationship strong. Make sure to check Upcoming Events to see if there is a challenge that meets your needs for where you are in your relationship journey.
Enjoy the journey,